Have you ever heard the saying, “What doesn’t kill us, makes us stronger?” I suppose some might say, “What doesn’t kill us makes us weaker,” or “Angrier,” or “Weakens our faith.” I suppose, on any given day, I might have chosen one of these options because the last five years have taxed every part of my faith, my patience, and my strength, both spiritual and physical.
On December 18, 2018, my husband Steve had a stroke. It was not a smooth transition to rehab (but that’s another whole blog post!). It was, however, the beginning of a nightmare that grew increasingly difficult over the next five years.
To summarize several key areas, his stroke impacted my writing, my happiness, my friendships, and my family relationships. Sadly, the vascular dementia from the stroke, progressed to Alzheimers and Steve passed away on September 2, 2023. I’ll never forget the phone call in the middle of the night saying he was unresponsive. To say I was shocked was an understatement.
I could not get ahold of ANYONE (phones are usually turned off at night). I packed up Mocha, my dog and started the worst journey of my life to the Memory Care Center, an hour and a half away. I did not make it in time. Midway on my drive, the nurse called to say he had died. I pulled over and wept.
I was in NE at the time to be closer to my son who was stationed at Offut AFB. I knew I needed to return to Iowa where our home had been for 30 years. The move was yet another nightmare, for reasons I will not go into.
I returned to Hobby Lobby in Des Moines and got a part time seasonal job. I’d worked there when I was in CA and enjoyed it. I am still working there part time and still enjoy it. It is an added financial help, along with my survivor benefits from Steve.
I found a nice apartment in Johnston and returned to my former church. I’ve joined a small Bible study group and started a Moms of Military Group, to offer prayer support for those whose sons and daughters are being deployed. Along with the spring weather, I’ve experienced some rebirth in joy. I just started GriefShare and hope it offers an outlet for the massive grief I feel, not just from being a widow, but from the resurgence of grief after losing my daughter, Bethany, in 2003.
For the first time in 5 years, I’ll be attending a Writer’s Conference this June.
And for the first time ever, I’ve re-released one of my novels through Cooper’s Quill Publishing: “Fields of the Fatherless.”
If you’d like to buy a paperback copy, it’s just $9.99 at Amazon.
I’d appreciate your prayers for so many reasons. ((HUGS))
Elaine