Elaine Marie Cooper Author

Historical Fiction That Grabs Your Heart and Feeds Your Soul

death of a child

Bethany’s Calendar

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Our lives changed forever eleven years ago today when my daughter’s “calendar” on earth ended. But her life in heaven had just began.

She was only 24 and my family never imagined that our bright, funny and faith-filled daughter would have such a short stay with us. But sometimes cancer interferes with our hopes and dreams. And sometimes, God has other plans.

My family has  been through so much in the ensuing years, yet we continue to be amazed at the life she shared with us, as well as the impact she had on so many others. We will always treasure her in our hearts, and look forward to seeing her again in eternity.

The most amazing thing about this eleventh year has been writing Bethany’s Calendar, the story of her final days on earth as she suffered from brain cancer. The fact that I had the strength to write it at all attests to the power of intercessory prayer as others raised me up in this difficult writing task. Although it was emotionally exhausting, the words and the story flowed.

Now Bethany’s Calendar is on the verge of being released in a few weeks. I am amazed at the smooth transition from writing first draft to now anticipating holding the final copy of the book. I can’t wait to share it with others and PRAY that it helps patients and their families who are in similar circumstances.

Bethanys Calendar Cover

I’ll be honest. Going through final edits this past weekend brought more than one tear. There is no loss like saying goodbye to your child.

Yet I am not bitter, nor do I repeat the often spoken phrase, “No parent should have to bury their child.” While that may be the human perspective, God’s perspective about life is that He is God, and He decides when our work on this earth is complete. Sometimes that is as soon as a child is birthed or it may be in old age. But “The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.” Job 1:21 NIV

Here are some of the words from “God is God” by Steven Curtis Chapman. This song played on my car radio—seemingly every time I went driving during Bethany’s illness. The verses are a reminder to me that God is the creator, with his purposes for His creation:

 

God is God and I am not

I can only see a part of the picture He’s painting

God is God and I am man

So I’ll never understand it all

For only God is God.

 

Launch for Bethany’s Calendar is December 12, 2014. It would have been her 36th birthday.

 

 

 

 

Detour on the Journey

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Occasionally, life takes us on detours. That is where my writing path has currently taken me: from historical fiction to a non-fiction memoir.

Since I am trusting the Lord with each step on this very important side road, I am relying heavily on His strength to carry the burden. So far, His yoke has been easy, albeit, covered with tears.

My book writing began seven years ago when I began researching for my first historical fiction (“The Road to Deer Run”). Since then, I’ve published three more in the same genre, each set in the era of the American Revolution.

But nearly three years ago, I was at a Christian Writers Conference, worshipping God during the praise time, when a very real impression of God’s direction in my life took root in my heart and mind: the Lord was telling me to write a memoir of my daughter Bethany’s battle with a brain tumor. She passed away ten years ago.

Prior to this moment, I had determined in my steel heart that I would NEVER write about that painful journey. But there I was, with tears rolling down my cheeks, the Lord reassuring me in my spirit that He would give me the strength. And He has.

So now I labor to relive that worst trial in my life. And I’m praying that her story will bless others to help them glimpse a speck of light on the darkest of days.

I’m also praying that my book will help other families who are in similar circumstances, empowering them to be their loved one’s advocate. Helping family members and friends to know where they can say “no” and perhaps—even when they are unsure of their steps—to know they can say “yes” as the Lord guides them on unfamiliar terrain.

So on this temporary detour—perhaps the most important in my calling as a writer—I pray that my daughter’s memory will be honored and that her story will touch many for His glory.

I covet your prayers as I work on “Bethany’s Calendar.” And I thank you.

 

(Photo of sun peeking through the clouds courtesy of Thomas Deitner)

Remembering Bethany

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Today, October 20th, 2013, marks the tenth anniversary of our daughter Bethany’s Homecoming. Not a college homecoming event, mind you. It was her final homecoming to heaven.

The discovery of her brain tumor shortly after her 23rd Birthday was a shock, to say the least. Months of treatment followed. Our lives were flung into a pit of despair, exhaustion, and grief, while our desperate faith clung to the hem of God’s garment as He said to us, “Trust me.” And we did. And we still do.

God never promised that our lives would be without sorrow or challenges that would feel much worse than a blow with a two by four. But He did promise He would never leave us or forsake us.

While many of my friends and even distant relatives only know Bethany as “my daughter who died from a brain tumor,” she was so much more.

 

Bethany and I, a year before we knew about the cancer
Bethany and I, a year before we knew about the cancer

She was the short one in the family, nearly a foot shorter than her older brother, Ben. But Bethany had what I always described as a “tall personality,” with more spunk and determination than all the rest of us put together.

When she was only two-years-old, her Daddy taught her the Shel Silverstein poem about a Polar Bear in the Frigidaire. The words still play in my mind as I can envision her rise to her full, midget-like stature and say the entire poem to amazed listeners. She delighted in the performance!

When her little brother, Nate, was born, she wanted to mother him to the point where I had to intervene. “If you do everything for him, he’ll never learn to do it himself,” I would gently say to her. She backed off—just a bit! The two of them were close their entire lives.

She admired her older brother, Ben, so much. In her last months she told him that she’d be watching him from heaven as he flew his military jet. I overheard her say to him, “I’ll tell everyone up there, ‘Look, there’s my brother!’” She was so proud of his service to our country.

Rather than just remember her as a cancer patient, I love to remember Bethany’s delightful legacy. She was a defender of the weak, a friend to the friendless, a comforter to the elderly in nursing homes, a brilliant student, a hilarious jokester, a believer in Jesus Christ, and as genuine a person as they come.

Daisies: Bethany's Favorite Flower
Daisies: Bethany’s Favorite Flower

Her writing awed and amazed me. She dreamed of being a writer but those dreams were not in God’s plans.

I never dreamed that I would carry on her hoped-for legacy by becoming an author. I wish that she could have become the writer instead. But our ways are not God’s ways.

Bethany’s favorite Bible verse was Jeremiah 29:11: “’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’”

Reading that verse on her tombstone, her brother Ben said, “In a way, God did take care of her future by bringing her home to Him in heaven.”

Indeed. And someday we can all be united again in the heavenly realm. That is our ultimate hope—our ultimate joy as we remember my daughter, Bethany, on this day of her Homecoming Anniversary.