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Elaine Marie Cooper Author

Historical Fiction That Grabs Your Heart and Feeds Your Soul

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Webinar Interview – “Bethany’s Calendar”

February 13, 2016 by emcoop 2 Comments

I can think of nothing in my life that was as devastating as losing my daughter to brain cancer. And when I felt that inner “call” to write about that experience, I wished I could ignore it. But I knew it was pointless to argue with God.

The result was the book known as “Bethany’s Calendar.” It won the Selah award for best nonfiction memoir in 2015, but the award itself pales with the impact the book has made in encouraging others and giving hope in the midst of despair.

 

This past week I had the privilege of being interviewed about my daughter, the impact on my family, and the ways the Lord has used my daughter’s testimony to inspire many.

You can watch the webinar at this link anytime. Just click here and go to Episode 32. I pray you are blessed.

The story of my daughter's journey with cancer.
The story of my daughter’s journey with cancer.

 

True Valentines Are Not Grey

February 14, 2015 by emcoop 4 Comments

All the recent publicity involving the release of a supposed romantic movie involving sadism has caused many to pause and consider what true romance really is.

In my personal experience, my committed relationship has involved watching my husband be self-sacrificing and compassionate. It’s the complete opposite of the Hollywood glorification of self-satisfaction and cruelty. My own marriage of nearly forty years has shown me that a true Valentine is one who serves others rather than themselves.

When our middle child and only daughter was diagnosed with a terminal brain tumor in 2002, my husband became my hero. His days were spent helping me to cope with this horrible disease. He filled in to care for her when I needed a break. He accompanied us to as many doctor’s appointments as his work schedule allowed. He voluntarily missed our son’s graduation from Officer’s Candidate School so I could attend. No dad wants to miss that. But Steve did—for me.

When we knew the brain tumor was coming back after a temporary remission, it was Steve who had the strength to sit and hold her while she cried, and while I paced the room, too frantic to sit. When she could no longer care for herself and was bed bound, Steve helped me feed her and keep her clean. And when she passed away, Steve wept over our loss with as many tears as I did.

Can you imagine the “hero” of “Fifty Shades of Grey” doing all this—someone so consumed with their past that all they can do is control, belittle and hurt the woman they supposedly love?

I’ve heard it said that this lead character has had a difficult past. My response is, “Who hasn’t?”  My husband came from a broken home and his mother died of cancer when he was a teenager. But he allowed Jesus to heal his hurts, save his soul and become a new creation in Christ. He became the sort of hero who could help care for a dying daughter.

So for those who think a dapper looking man in a suit who wants what HE wants is heroic, think again. The real heroes are helping others in the battlefield of life.

 

The story of my daughter's journey with cancer.
The story of my daughter’s journey with cancer.

 

 

 

The Book I Balked At Writing

February 10, 2015 by emcoop Leave a Comment

I’ll never forget the day a friend stopped me at church. She knew I’d written a book but, instead of the one she expected, I’d written a historical fiction. “I thought you’d write a book about your daughter,” she said to me.

I looked at her in shock. “Are you kidding me? Relive the nightmare of her brain tumor? No way.”

I wouldn’t even entertain the idea of such a project. It would be too difficult to relive her journey through cancer and eventual passing.

How could someone even mention that, I thought? [Read more…] about The Book I Balked At Writing

Vaccines and Cancer

February 3, 2015 by emcoop 4 Comments

When you read the title of this blog, you may have wondered if I was going to suggest that vaccinations cause cancer. That could not be further from the truth.

What I am suggesting is that, with the thousands of cancer patients who have suppressed immune systems (i.e. they can catch any illness that is within breathing distance), folks who choose NOT to vaccinate their children should keep them FAR AWAY from folks with cancer.

In the United States, we are currently undergoing a measles outbreak. It seems so foreign to many, since measles vaccine has been around for decades. Much publicity has been dedicated to the deleterious side effects of vaccines. In fact, there can be bad side effects to immunizations. Are the bad side effects common? No. Do vaccines usually prevent the very illness they are intended to immunize against? Yes.

Many years ago there was a terrible plague called polio. Throughout history, there were instances noted of polio-like illnesses and by 1910, frequent epidemics spread throughout the world. But the worst epidemic peaked in the 1940’s and 1950’s. The disease paralyzed or killed over half a million people worldwide every year.

My older sister was a victim of polio. She did not die, but has lifelong side effects that still impact her health.

In the 1950’s a miracle seemed to occur in medicine with the development of one, then a second more effective, vaccine to battle the polio virus. By 1961, only 161 cases were reported in the United States.

Now we are seeing the rise of another illness that has been previously under tight control with the use of a vaccine. The disease is called measles.

In 2004, there were only 37 cases of measles in this country. Compare that with 644 cases in 2014, and it is cause for concern. In the first 31 days of 2015, 102 people have already been diagnosed with the illness. Statistics are available on the CDC website.

Most of these cases are in children and adults who are either unimmunized for measles or underimmunized, meaning they’ve only had one shot. It takes two injections to provide adequate immunity.

Measles is highly contagious and seems to be spreading. Symptoms are a rash and fever. Victims can be contagious for four days before a rash develops. Measles can also cause pneumonia, brain damage, deafness and death.

The story of my daughter's journey with cancer.
The story of my daughter’s journey with cancer.

So where is the connection with cancer (a topic of interest to me since my own daughter died of that disease)? Imagine a child exposed to measles and possibly carrying the disease, being around someone on chemotherapy or undergoing radiation, whose ability to fight any illness is severely compromised. The thought sends a feeling of dread through me.

In this country, we are free to decide whether or not we immunize our children. But that choice can have deadly consequences for ourselves and others—something to think about when getting the real facts about vaccinations for children. Please be informed.

Sometimes studying history can tell us just how bad epidemics can be.

“Those who don’t know history are doomed to repeat it.” Edmund Burke

 

 

Bethany’s Calendar

October 20, 2014 by emcoop 4 Comments

Our lives changed forever eleven years ago today when my daughter’s “calendar” on earth ended. But her life in heaven had just began.

She was only 24 and my family never imagined that our bright, funny and faith-filled daughter would have such a short stay with us. But sometimes cancer interferes with our hopes and dreams. And sometimes, God has other plans.

My family has  been through so much in the ensuing years, yet we continue to be amazed at the life she shared with us, as well as the impact she had on so many others. We will always treasure her in our hearts, and look forward to seeing her again in eternity.

The most amazing thing about this eleventh year has been writing Bethany’s Calendar, the story of her final days on earth as she suffered from brain cancer. The fact that I had the strength to write it at all attests to the power of intercessory prayer as others raised me up in this difficult writing task. Although it was emotionally exhausting, the words and the story flowed.

Now Bethany’s Calendar is on the verge of being released in a few weeks. I am amazed at the smooth transition from writing first draft to now anticipating holding the final copy of the book. I can’t wait to share it with others and PRAY that it helps patients and their families who are in similar circumstances.

Bethanys Calendar Cover

I’ll be honest. Going through final edits this past weekend brought more than one tear. There is no loss like saying goodbye to your child.

Yet I am not bitter, nor do I repeat the often spoken phrase, “No parent should have to bury their child.” While that may be the human perspective, God’s perspective about life is that He is God, and He decides when our work on this earth is complete. Sometimes that is as soon as a child is birthed or it may be in old age. But “The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.” Job 1:21 NIV

Here are some of the words from “God is God” by Steven Curtis Chapman. This song played on my car radio—seemingly every time I went driving during Bethany’s illness. The verses are a reminder to me that God is the creator, with his purposes for His creation:

 

God is God and I am not

I can only see a part of the picture He’s painting

God is God and I am man

So I’ll never understand it all

For only God is God.

 

Launch for Bethany’s Calendar is December 12, 2014. It would have been her 36th birthday.

 

 

 

 

Wounded Cancer Warrior

January 16, 2014 by emcoop 6 Comments

In the war against cancer, there are many engagements both frightening and painful. But when those you hope to be on your side attack you, the “friendly fire” can be the most devastating of all.

Such is the case with Lisa Bonchek Adams, a woman in New York suffering from Stage 4 cancer who has been using social media to discuss her personal fight against the disease. While Ms. Adams has written that she does not like the use of war-related phrases in describing cancer treatments, I have personally found the analogy to be fitting.

As anyone who has suffered from or knows someone who has cancer, the battle is fraught with multiple doctor visits, diagnostic scans, lab work, and, often, painful treatments that poison one’s body in an attempt to poison the cancer cells. Many of the treatments are improving, thanks to research. But most still leave a patient exhausted and quite ill.

Ms. Adams’s tweets are now being attacked in the mainstream media by none other than former Executive Editor of the New York Times and current columnist, Bill Keller. Mr. Keller became aware of this cancer patient via his wife, Emma Keller, who writes for The Guardian in the UK.  Now, Emma Keller is a cancer survivor herself. Her column about this cancer patient in the U.S. was pulled down after it was determined that Emma Keller had interviewed Ms. Adams by e-mail, without informing her that the quotes might be used in a public forum. Any journalist should know better.

But now Bill Keller has joined in the discussion, essentially telling the public that enough already, why doesn’t this Stage 4 cancer victim just stop all these treatments she is undergoing at Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center? Why doesn’t she just give up, making some reference to the cost of extending her life? He seemed surprised in his editorial piece that Ms. Adams’ doctors would not reveal some of the expenses incurred by the treatments. Excuse me? Patient privacy?

After all, Mr. Keller argues in his column—and now we get to the heart of his argument—his father-in-law bravely gave up the fight and died with dignity.

So when it comes to cancer treatment, one size fits all? And when it comes to those who are deciding to fight further, even to the point of taking experimental treatments to aid in the cause of research to help others, that is no less dignified?

Mr. Keller did not seem to take into account circumstances. His father-in-law was 79 when he passed away. Does he realize that Ms. Adams is a much-younger mom with three children, one of whom was born with congenital abnormalities to his heart, spine, and hands? (You can read her blog at http://lisabadams.com/ )

Even worse, Mr. Keller implies that doctors in the U.S. are only beginning to understand that a person should be kept pain-free as they pass through the portal to eternity. Where have you been, Mr. Keller, in your knowledge of cancer fighting? My own daughter, who died of cancer ten years ago, stopped the treatments that her body could not tolerate anymore and was kept pain free until the end.

Mr. Keller was informed by a cancer research center that only 3% of adult cancer patients who are eligible for clinical trials accept this daunting mission. He seemed surprised. Was he pleased?

One would think so by this excerpt:

“In October 2012, I wrote about my father-in-law’s death from cancer in a British hospital. There, more routinely than in the United States, patients are offered the option of being unplugged from everything except pain killers and allowed to slip peacefully from life. His death seemed to me a humane and honorable alternative to the frantic medical trench warfare that often makes an expensive misery of death in America.

 Among doctors here, there is a growing appreciation of palliative care that favors the quality of the remaining life rather than endless ‘heroic measures’ that may or may not prolong life but assure the final days are clamorous, tense and painful. (And they often leave survivors bankrupt) What Britain and other countries know, and my country is learning, is that every cancer need not be Verdun, a war of attrition waged regardless of the cost or the casualties. It seemed to me, and still does, that there is something enviable about going gently. One intriguing lung cancer study even suggests that patients given early palliative care instead of the most aggressive chemotherapy not only have a better quality of life, they actually live a bit longer.”

 

I have to wonder if Emma Keller (Bill Keller’s wife) recovered from breast cancer as the result of someone else risking a new drug that later saved Emma? I am only speculating, of course.

Let me share a story. On a recent flight, I sat next to a chiropractor whose mother had taken the trial drug Herceptin when she had advanced breast cancer some twenty years ago. Now his mother is alive and well, thanks to that experimental drug that is now regularly given to breast cancer patients. I know that chiropractor’s family was grateful that she had continued the fight.

These are not easy decisions for any cancer patient. The unknown stares at you as you contemplate your next step. Do I continue taking these new drugs? Or do I stop?

One of my friends has a son with a brain tumor. Several years later, after trying one new chemotherapy after another, the tumor that threatened to shorten his young adult life long ago, has been kept at bay long enough to give him many treasured moments with his family.

My daughter, who has been deceased these ten years, once wrote in her diary about the importance of “moments,” long before she knew her life would end at the age of 24:

“There is beauty in each moment. There is the hand of God in each one. It may not always be obvious, but to a trained eye, it is visible. Look to the One Who gave me my moments and you, your moments, and everyone one of them will become as valuable as pure gold. After all, it will only be a matter of moments before this life is through and others are experiencing their moments. Then, I won’t have to worry about moments. It will be one long, glorious, eternal moment spent in the love of God.”

Apparently, Mr. Keller likes to play God in deciding the numbers of moments on earth that are important.

 

If you’d like to follow Lisa Bonchek Adams,’ tweets here is her Twitter handle:

@AdamsLisa

You can read the column by Bill Keller here.

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