All the recent publicity involving the release of a supposed romantic movie involving sadism has caused many to pause and consider what true romance really is.
In my personal experience, my committed relationship has involved watching my husband be self-sacrificing and compassionate. It’s the complete opposite of the Hollywood glorification of self-satisfaction and cruelty. My own marriage of nearly forty years has shown me that a true Valentine is one who serves others rather than themselves.
When our middle child and only daughter was diagnosed with a terminal brain tumor in 2002, my husband became my hero. His days were spent helping me to cope with this horrible disease. He filled in to care for her when I needed a break. He accompanied us to as many doctor’s appointments as his work schedule allowed. He voluntarily missed our son’s graduation from Officer’s Candidate School so I could attend. No dad wants to miss that. But Steve did—for me.
When we knew the brain tumor was coming back after a temporary remission, it was Steve who had the strength to sit and hold her while she cried, and while I paced the room, too frantic to sit. When she could no longer care for herself and was bed bound, Steve helped me feed her and keep her clean. And when she passed away, Steve wept over our loss with as many tears as I did.
Can you imagine the “hero” of “Fifty Shades of Grey” doing all this—someone so consumed with their past that all they can do is control, belittle and hurt the woman they supposedly love?
I’ve heard it said that this lead character has had a difficult past. My response is, “Who hasn’t?” My husband came from a broken home and his mother died of cancer when he was a teenager. But he allowed Jesus to heal his hurts, save his soul and become a new creation in Christ. He became the sort of hero who could help care for a dying daughter.
So for those who think a dapper looking man in a suit who wants what HE wants is heroic, think again. The real heroes are helping others in the battlefield of life.